This is a venting journal, you are not obligated to read it, if you do, sorry my harsh words.
Well, that I have personal issues on irl its no big deal, I may had said here once or twice about my real condition.
But today, this fights here and there with my own mother, under my own frustration by the amount of animals she keep at house, that I don't approve at all, and the constant use of money to keep them, maintenance in the house*
, and the use of weekends for heavy clean and to do things as my mom, the only parent I live with, plus the constant harassment about my weight, my own room organization, my own life, has come today to unbearable levels.
And with all that, my mom still says I should have more responsibilities, with clean with animals, with my own life, and with "taking care" of bills and with her.
Yes ladies and gentleman, I with all that, and still have to take care of her stuff, stuff that I shouldn't mind about, but that if anything that she don't watch out, her own stuff (which includes: clothes, objects, working equipment, her health)
And I must understood that she is depressed and tired of her life, that if she puts another animal inside house is because of her depression, I do have depression too, and anxiety attacks, that I don't want to share with her, with almost no one, because its horrible, and that once I had both together, and was eating deprived because of them, I said that to her, and she mockered me saying that no, I was just trying to lose my height
with some crazy diet.
Honestly, I have enough at my own life, and still I have some other people on internet, trying to spread lies about me, and ruin my social life here on DeviantArt, its a small additional to the poop pile, thanks
Right on this moment I'm on my boyfriends house, after one more episode of fights, where it ended with her saying to me that I have no life, I'm just a cynical bastard that depends on her and have an easy life and that if I want to be a big fat pig, that I should keep going
, and with that and some more that now don't come to my mind, I left, she said go, I just gone.
But now at the same time I right this, I fear for when I come back home, if I want to come back also, I know the script, I know how all will go, about my mom saying how giving she are with her kids, and how shitty we treat her, that she should had let my father take us, and she had live her life, how ungrateful I am, that she just want my well, that I only see her as enemy, but I'm wrong about it, and etc...
*Just to explain this, the house we live are not of my mom, nor even mine, its on my father's name and he denied to put it on their kids name, so, he can put us outside on any time, that just keep all this shit still, because I'm living in there. Thanks dad you such amazing father ever.
So again, sorry for this huge pile of poop, I've been trying to manage all this alone, and keep cool and quiet about most of it, as I move on my work as Artist, and I know and have notion that I shouldn't be explaining myself that much or even exposing, its just a venting thing, not a childish cry, real sorry, and thanks for whoever must be reading this